


Perfect?

by blazingsnark



Series: Queens of Steel; Servants of Iron [5]
Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, No pun intended, awkward skirting of relationship problems, discussion of other people's relationship problems, immeidate self-guilt-tripping for the guilt-tripping, it's a trip, some guilt-tripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazingsnark/pseuds/blazingsnark
Summary: A scene from Contracted which was cut from between the 9th and 10th chapters to preserve the pacing of the fic.  Royal Guard and Noblesse skirt around the issue of their relationship while discussing the issues of Demonio and Diabla’s relationship.





	Perfect?

The night before Noblesse’s coronation, Royal Guard prepared her tea, just like he did every night.  The knife Dreadlord had knocked away from him earlier still lay under the cupboard where it had fallen.  Royal Guard made no move to pick it up.

Usually he would be quick, efficient, his hands falling into a routine as he steeped Lu’s tea and stacked two teacups on a tray.  But tonight he hesitated.  He let the tea steep a touch too long, dawdled as he finally poured it into the teapot, and spent a good solid minute staring at the readied tray.

He was nervous.

Noblesse’s reassuring presence flickered in their contract at the back of his mind, but Royal Guard found himself dreading having to walk into her room.  The scars lining his inner arms ached like they hadn’t in months.  She’d seemed remorseful earlier, but what if it had been an act?  Noblesse was a good liar.  Or what if she was just going to ignore it, or tease Royal Guard about it, or she was going to start thinking he needed to be treated like Demonio and-

You’re worrying.

The quiet censure cut through his thoughts and quieted them.  Royal Guard winced and bowed his head.

Come on, Noblesse urged, her calm washing over Royal Guard’s mind and soothing his emotions.  His hands barely shook as he picked up the tea tray and walked out of his kitchen, his shoes clicking on the stone floor as he made his way to Noblesse’s room.

She’d usually be sitting at her desk at this time of night.  Instead, Royal Guard found Noblesse leaning against a pillow-covered headboard, five demonic flames hovering to light the air over her.

He didn’t comment.  He just handed her a full teacup.  She sipped it, hummed her approval, then patted the bed next to her.

“Sit.”

Royal Guard hesitated, then obeyed, sitting down stiffly next to Noblesse.  She looked up at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he lied, and turned to pour himself tea as well, blocking his thoughts from Noblesse out of force of habit. He nearly jumped when she prodded the wall protecting his mind.

“Are you keeping secrets from me?”

Royal Guard swallowed.  Noblesse shifted from her reclining position, reaching for Royal Guard’s hands, prying the teapot from his stiff fingers and guiding him to recline against the harpy-down pillows.

“No more secrets,” she reminded him, small and earnest like she hadn’t been since Royal Guard started trying to be perfect and she stopped pretending humanity.  He closed his eyes.  The scars hurt.

“I’m worried,” he confessed.  “About your coronation tomorrow, and whether we’ll succeed.”

“Oh, that.”  Noblesse put her hand on Royal Guard’s thigh.  “Most demon coronations are greeted by a rebellion, Ciel.  It’s okay.  We’ll defeat her, and once she’s dead, Demonio-”

“Demonio asked us not to kill her.”  Royal Guard still couldn’t look at Noblesse.  He felt her hesitation.

“When she’s dead, he’ll know it was for the best.  I can’t leave Diabla alive to scheme against me.”

“But Demonio-” Royal Guard started.  Noblesse cut him off.

“The security of my throne depends on her death.  Are you going to work against me, Ciel?”

Royal Guard felt sick.  Work against Noblesse?  Never.  He was loyal, no matter what she might do, no matter what she asked.  That Noblesse would think that…

“I’m sorry,” he managed.  He imagined Demonio’s accusing stare boring into his mind as he acquiesced.  “I’ll kill Diabla if that’s what you wish.”

He couldn’t sit.  Abruptly, Royal Guard opened his eyes and moved to stand up off the bed.  Noblesse took hold of his wrist to stop him.

“You’re more distressed…?”

She sounded confused.  Royal Guard froze, still not looking at her.

“Ciel?  Is there something else?”

Royal Guard hesitated, then risked lowering his defenses just a bit to check Noblesse’s mental state.  She seemed honestly puzzled, as if she didn’t know what her words did to him.  Royal Guard swallowed.

She’d been so regretful earlier.  He’d believed they might change, that Noblesse could be less strict, that he could enjoy greater freedom around her.  Perhaps he’d been wrong, but… perhaps there was still hope.

“Don’t doubt me,” he pleaded softly.  “Please, Lu.  Let me be good enough for you.”

“You are good enough for me,” Noblesse said.  Royal Guard forced himself to turn around and gripped her hands.

“Then please… act like it.  Don’t guilt me.  Don’t shame me.  I want you to trust me like I trust you.”

She stared up at him, and Royal Guard suddenly felt her emotions ebbing through the contract as she realized what she’d accidentally done.  She… felt bad about it.  She felt small and insecure, unsure what to say.

That hadn’t been Royal Guard’s intention.  Now he just felt worse.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, and dropped his gaze.  After a moment, he dropped to his knees by her bed as well.  “I-”

“Ciel,” Noblesse interrupted, and her small hands gripped his biceps, guiding him to stand up and sit next to her again with a touch of her mind.  “Don’t apologize.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize.”

Royal Guard couldn’t respond past the sudden lump in his throat.  This was the cute, apologizing, remorseful Lu he’d wanted all those times he’d been alone with his thoughts and a knife.  So why did this feel wrong?

“Please don’t feel bad,” he managed.

That was a futile request.  Noblesse’s guilt only grew, making Royal Guard swallow hard.  What kind of perfect servant was he supposed to be, calling out his master like this?

“Stop,” Noblesse said, cutting off Royal Guard’s thought.  He watched her as she reached across him to pick up the empty teacup he’d never gotten around to filling, poured the tea, and shoved it into his hands.  “Stop thinking like that.  You’re allowed to talk to me, remember?  I’m not Diabla.”

Right.  He’d always been able to talk to Noblesse when they were alone.  Royal Guard stared down into the dark tea, then sighed and let his head fall back.

“It’s over-steeped,” he confessed.  “Sorry.”

Noblesse paused, then shifted her position, reclining next to Royal Guard.  “You were nervous about coming to see me tonight?”

Royal Guard didn’t have to voice his confirmation.  He could feel Noblesse receiving his answer through the contract, could feel her deep sigh vibrate in his own lungs.

“I’m not like her,” she repeated.  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

But you do, Royal Guard thought, and he felt Noblesse wince, and decided not to say that aloud.  Instead, he just added, “I’m still loyal to you.”

And, before he lost his nerve, he added, “And so is Demonio.  To Diabla.”

Now Noblesse was tense.  Royal Guard wanted to take it back, to stop hurting Noblesse like this and just submit to her will, stay quiet and well within the limits like he’d always done.  But Demonio’s haunted face, the hollow way he carried himself and the sheer desperation in his voice when he pleaded for Diabla’s life, kept him talking.

“He doesn’t care how much she hurts him.  He’ll always be loyal to her, because she’s his Lu.  I… know how he feels.”

Noblesse sucked in a breath through her teeth.  Royal Guard stared down at his tea.

“Not that badly, of course,” he reassured Noblesse.  “But enough.  He… when he was talking to me, in the kitchen, he knew what I was going through.”

He didn’t have words for what he wanted to say, so he offered up the memory to the contract, allowing Noblesse to see Demonio’s uncharacteristic gentleness and the way his words had torn away the band-aid of the festering wound Royal Guard had been keeping concealed.  Noblesse’s small hand gripped his wrist, her fingertips ghosting over the still-not-quite-healed suicide gash on his wrist.  Royal Guard stared at his lap, both hating and craving that touch on the most vulnerable part of him.

“I don’t want to take her away from him.  Not like this.”

Noblesse stayed silent, gently stroking Royal Guard’s scars, pushing his sleeve up further.  A quick check of the contract showed that she was deep in contemplation.  Royal Guard took the few seconds of reprieve to drain his cup of (far too bitter) tea and compose himself.

“Not like this?” Noblesse finally asked, repeating Royal Guard’s last words.  He nodded.

“Their relationship is bad, but you said you and Chiliarch changed, right?  Diabla’s thinking of how things used to be five hundred years ago.  If Diabla can realize that…”

“I don’t think she will,” said Noblesse quietly.  Her fingers had gone still on Royal Guard’s scars.  He shrugged.

“Then Demonio needs to realize that for himself.  We can keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t leave the palace.  Or remove him from her influence for a while, just not break their contract.”

“Breaking their contract at this point would mean killing Demonio.  He’s too dependent.”  Noblesse sighed and dragged her hand across her face, then leaned into Royal Guard’s side.  “Alright, you win.  We’ll keep her alive, just… jail her.”

Royal Guard hesitated, then freed his wrist from her lax grip and put his arm around her.  Noblesse leaned back into the pillows and hummed into Royal Guard’s side.

“Thank you,” he murmured.  Noblesse didn’t respond aloud, but a flicker of warmth showed through the contract.

It had been a long, long time since Royal Guard had been able to do someone a favor.  He’d forgotten how it felt, to know someone powerless would get what they needed because of him.  He smiled.

“Sleep in here tonight,” Noblesse said softly.  Three of the five demonic flames overhead winked out.  Royal Guard reached for the untouched teacup Noblesse had left precariously on the mattress, collecting it and putting it back on the tray along with his own.

“Alright,” he agreed without really thinking about it.  “Is there a reason?”

Another demonic flame flickered and died, leaving only one, casting dim shadows over the room.  Royal Guard drew away from Noblesse, standing up in order to change into the pajamas she kept for him in her room.  Noblesse wriggled under the heavy quilt and hummed.

“I miss being close with you.”

Usually, Royal Guard would drop to one knee immediately at that, thank Noblesse for the compliment and make sure to be close to her for as long as he could.  He even contemplated doing that now.  But instead he just dipped his head and reached through the contract, ruffling her hair like he’d done all those years ago when she first saved him.

She hummed.  The last demonic flame vanished.

“I’ve missed it too,” Royal Guard confessed into the darkness.


End file.
